Feb 18 2009
When Is The Term “Sometime Apart” Not Breaking Up?
As you have read in the last post there was some problems that this person was feeling. With all the thoughts running through this guy head he was just wondering what would happen next. He felt as if he was putting all he had into this relationship to come out and get nothing. He felt that his girlfriend was putting her friends before him and not being affectionate towards him. More and more Arguements started and alot of trust was being lost in the relationship. Another girl had came to him and just started talking to him. she knew what he was going through because she was going through the samething too. Through the days that he was talking to her, it seems as if that she was his girlfriend and he had broke up. But he didnt break up. His girlfriend started noticing changes in the arguement. less talk and he was away alot. She thought he was cheating on her. He wasnt. All he wanted to feel is that he existed and someone showed that to him. The guy told the girl that he had a girlfriend and she told him that she had a boyfriend. Before things got to serious they had to take there separate ways and work things out in there relationship. Because even though that they like each other they knew they had to give it atleast one more shot. The guy tried to work things out with his girl but the she said, “maybe we need sometime apart.” He agreed to it. So in there time of separation he thought they had broken up. He found a girl that he like and she was more affectionate and showed more in the relationship than the other. He kept in touch with the girl that said they needed sometime apart without her even knowing that he was seeing someone again. When she found out she asked him why did is he cheating on her? He replied saying that he thought they had broken up. She paused for about a minute and then said okay lets just be friends. In his head he now was asking was that time apart is it for her to change when he saw it or was it a chance for them to make the relationship stronger? So why not say its over when you feel that the relationship has came to its end? Is it at that exact moment when you feel like you can’t go any longer that something that you did you felt was wrong? Or is it at that exact moment when she said with a fake smile we can be friend you feel that she loved you but was afraid to show it? now you see maybe when they say maybe we need sometime apart maybe its not breaking up but a realization of trying to make the relationship stronger before letting go.
I think most people say “we need some time apart” to have time to think about whether the relationship is really what they want. Sometimes people don’t know exactly what they want out of a relationship, so they need time to evaluate themselves. However, I agree with you, D, that there can be situations in which “taking a break” isn’t actually breaking up. Although sometimes it is used as an excuse to lead to a less harsh breakup.
I agree with you but sometimes “taking a break” is used as an excuse to lead to a less harsh breakup. On the other hand, some people don’t know what they want out of a relationship and they need some time away from that person to evaluate themselves. Sometimes, we’re unsure of what lies ahead in the relationship or we get scared of strong feelings. When some people realize they are falling in love, or falling out of love, they want time to make sure this is what they want to feel with or without this person.